In signing your healthcare directive, you made the necessary decision of naming a healthcare agent. In a legal capacity, you’ve named that trusty someone who is in charge of making health-related decisions on your behalf if you should become incapacitated. Now take the extra step and make sure your agent knows exactly what those decisions should be.

Adding "extra wishes" or personal instructions to your directive is one of the greatest gifts you can give your loved ones. It transforms a legal document into a clear roadmap, reducing the emotional burden on your healthcare agent during a time of crisis. And better yet, it can be revised and adjusted at any time.

When refining your plan, consider these essential questions. Your healthcare agent will definitely thank you.

1. Define Your "Quality of Life"

A life-prolonging treatment is only as valuable as the life it is prolonging. How do you define that life? Because everyone’s "line in the sand" is different, you can clearly draw yours.

● The Essential Question: What are the key functions that make my life worth living?

● Considerations: Is it the ability to recognize your children or spouse? The ability to communicate your own thoughts? If you were in a state where you could no longer interact with your environment, would you still want medical interventions for a secondary infection? What if you were dependent on machines for doing your basic functions, even if your mind was intact? Does “quality of life” mean remaining at home regardless of the cost or strain on others, or is avoiding being a physical burden a higher priority?

Defining these milestones helps your agent know exactly when to shift from curative care to comfort care.

2. Consider Comforts and Environment

Your dignity is often tied to your surroundings. If you cannot speak for yourself, your environment should still reflect who you are. Help your healthcare agent take action to make this possible.

● The Essential Question: What does a “good day” look like if I am confined to a bed?

● Considerations: Do you want a window with natural light? If possible, do you want to be near open windows? Do you have favorite photos or artwork you would like nearby? A treasured blanket you’d like with you? Should your favorite jazz or Taylor Swift playlist be playing, or do you find peace in total silence? Do you mind the rambunctious sounds of your grandchildren playing in the next room? Are there any particular scents you prefer to avoid?

These "small" details provide immense relief to family members who want to feel they are honoring your spirit, not just following a doctor’s orders, and they provide little touches that give a sense of ownership in a challenging situation.

3. Set Firm Boundaries

Boundaries provide clarity when medical situations enter a "gray area."

● The Essential Question: How can I provide the utmost clarity?

● Considerations: Are there any treatments or interventions you definitely want to avoid? Are there treatments you might consider for a trial period? What about the people you would like around? Is there anyone you don’t want to see? Whose opinion should be taken into account, and whose voice shouldn’t be heard when making these difficult decisions? How about religious considerations? Do you want to be visited by a trusted pastor or spiritual guide? Are there other rituals or customs that are important to you?

While your healthcare agent might not enjoy their role of “bad guy” in these scenarios of boundary setting, it will be much easier to hold a firm line if they know exactly what your wishes are ahead of time.

4. Share What You Want Others to Know

This is the heartbeat of your document. It is your final message to those you love, designed to alleviate the guilt that can haunt healthcare agents.

● The Essential Question: What can I say now to ease their burden later?

● Considerations: Use this space to give your healthcare agent "permission" to make the hard calls, even if they don’t want to. A simple sentence like, "Please know I do not view the withdrawal of life support as 'giving up,' but as an act of love," can provide incredible peace and comfort to your healthcare agent. Putting that in writing takes courage on your part and takes a tremendous amount of stress away from your loved ones. You can also share your gratitude for the life you’ve lived and the love you’ve received in this document, a gift of solace your loved ones will treasure.

This writing isn’t easy, but it’s necessary and helpful. And you’ll hopefully find some peace through the process.

Next Steps

An estate plan is a set of documents and a reflection of your values. At Miroslavich Law, we don't just hand you a template; we help you navigate these nuances. If you’re ready to create a plan that truly protects your dignity, schedule a consultation with us today.

Estate Planning