Why Your Loved One Might Resist Estate Planning (and How to Gently Encourage Them)
Talking about estate planning touches on two topics that can send most people running: money and mortality. That’s why these conversations can be so challenging, even if you’re talking with your closest loved ones.
However, if you put off that hard discussion, you might find yourself scrambling in a time of crisis, unsure of your loved one’s wishes and stressed to the max during an already painful time.
If you have a loved one — including a spouse or a parent — who is reluctant to talk about estate planning, here are five common reasons they might resist, along with compassionate ways to respond.
1. “I don’t have enough assets to worry about.”
A gentle response: “Estate planning isn’t just for the wealthy; it’s for anyone who wants to make life easier for the people they love. Even simple plans can spare our family unnecessary court delays and confusion because we’ll know what your wishes are. You’ve worked hard for the things you have, so you want to be a part of the decisions about what happens after you’re gone, right? And besides, don’t you want to be the one who decides who gets to inherit your bobblehead collection?”
2. “It’s too expensive.”
A gentle response: “Yes, there is an upfront cost, but it’s small compared to the financial and emotional costs of navigating probate without a plan. Think of it as a gift to your future self and to the rest of us. You can consider it my birthday gift for the next few years.”
3. “I’m too young for that.”
A gentle response: “No one knows what tomorrow will bring. An estate plan is like a spare tire. Hopefully you never need it, but in case you do, it’s nice to have it along. And estate planning isn’t just about plans after death. A health care directive and a power of attorney give you the power to name who makes decisions in case you’re incapacitated. That sounds pretty important, too, doesn’t it?”
4. “I don’t want to think about dying.”
A gentle response: “This isn’t about death; it’s about living with peace of mind and purpose, knowing your affairs are in order and your loved ones — all of us — are protected. Estate planning does require you to think about some difficult topics, but the relief that comes at the end of the process will be worth it. And we’re here with you every step of the way.”
5. “I wouldn’t know where to start.”
A gentle response: “Luckily, you don’t have to. That’s where an estate planning attorney comes in. An attorney like Melissa Miroslavich of Miroslavich Law makes the process straightforward and guides you every step of the way. Would you like me to help you schedule a free consultation?”
If your loved one shuts the conversation down, give them some time and space and revisit the topic in the future. Having a plan in place will be worth it.
Starting the conversation can feel awkward, but it’s an act of love. Encourage your loved one to take the first step, not because the end is near, but because life is precious. Planning ahead for the difficult times is one of the most caring choices we can make.
