These conversations can feel awkward or even painful, depending on your family dynamic. This isn’t a huge surprise, given that 27% of Americans are uncomfortable talking about death and one-third don’t even want to think about their own death. However, it’s essential to tackle these hard conversations about estate planning now in order to prevent stress, confusion, and potential conflict later.

Too often, families wait until an emergency or crisis hits before they talk about essentials like wills and trusts, powers of attorney, and health care directives. By then, options may be limited and decisions can feel very rushed. It’s much better to have the talk now so you know what your loved ones’ wishes are.

Helping your parents prepare for the future isn’t just about the documents; it’s about dignity and peace of mind.

Here are some tips for handling this topic with your aging parents.

Choose the right time. Plan ahead for a time when you’ll be together, and pick a quiet moment. Don’t choose a chaotic weekend like a family wedding or the day of a boisterous family reunion. If you have siblings, talk with them to choose the best approach.
Start by gently opening the door. This is not the time to be pushy or assertive. If your parents shut the conversation down immediately or get defensive, take a step back and revisit the topic again later. Let them know you’re in this together, and you and your siblings want to help them in any way that you can.
Dig for their documents. After you’ve breached the topic, ask your parents what estate planning documents, if any, they have. Help them find the documents, if necessary, and read through them together. It will be helpful for you to have a basic understanding of what documents they might have:
- Will or trust: names personal representative or trustee
- Powers of attorney: names power of attorney — person responsible for financial decision making
- Health care directives: names health care agent — person responsible for health care decisions if someone is incapacitated
- Life insurance policies: names beneficiaries
Contact an estate planning attorney. If it’s clear your parents don’t have their estate plans in order or if there are changes that need to be made, then help them find an estate planning attorney, like Melissa at Miroslavich Law. We can answer their questions and help them get a plan together so you will all have greater peace of mind, no matter what the future holds.

Caring for loved ones on both ends of the age spectrum is no small task. But helping your parents create a clear estate plan is one way to lighten the emotional load for everyone involved, including yourself. For those in the sandwich generation, this act isn’t just a checklist item; it’s a gift of clarity, compassion, and preparedness.

Estate Planning